Subject: 4th Grade

Little David was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father."My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money. "

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He works for the Democratic National Committee to elect John Kerry, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Only Time can Take Love

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all of the others, including Love...

One day, it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink,so all repaired their boats and left.

Love was the only one who stayed.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a great boat.

Love said:

"Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered:

"No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel:

"Vanity, please help me!"'

"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked for help:

"Sadness, let me go with you."

"Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice:

"Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder asked Knowledge, another elder:

"Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

The CROSS

A young man was at the end of his rope, Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees In prayer "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear."

The Lord replied, "My son, If you can't bear its weight, Just place your cross Inside This room. Then, open that other door And pick out any cross you wish."

The man was filled with relief and said,
"Thank you Lord," and he did As he was told.
Upon entering the Other room, he saw many crosses; Some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross Leaning Against a far wall.

"I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. The Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

When life's problems seem overwhelming, It helps To look around and see What other people are coping with.

You may consider yourself Far more fortunate than you imagined.

YOUR CROSS

Whatever your cross
Whatever your pain
There will always be sunshine
After the rain
Perhaps you may stumble
Perhaps even fall
But God's always there
To help you through it all

Funny how you can send > a thousand "jokes" through > E-mail and they spread like wildfire, > But when you start sending messages > Regarding the Lord, > > People think twice about passing it on. > > Funny, isn't it, > When you go to forward this message, > How many on your buddy list will not receive it > > > > Because > you're not sure > they believe in anything? > > Funny? > > No! > > Sad, and thought-provoking... > > May God give you the strength and courage > > To pass this along > > To everyone on your email buddy list.... > > I JUST DID! > >

Girls Talk

GIRL TALK

Did U know kissing is healthy

Bananas are good for period pain

Its good to cry

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better

94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers

Lying is actually unhealthy

Only apply mascara to your top lashes

Its actually true, boys DO insult u when they like you!

Its impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed!

89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move

Chocolate will make you feel better!=

Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judge.

A good foundation will hide hickeys!..not that u have any

Boys arent worth your tears

We ALL love suprises!!

Now.... make a wish!

Wish REALLLLLLY hard!!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Congratulations!!

Your wish has just been received

Send this on to ALL your girlfriends in the next 15mins and...

Your wish WILL BE GRANTED.Thats a promise girlfriend
***********************************

Tough Questions

Fwd: TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS

> > Question 1:

> >> > If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind,one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have anabortion?
> > Read the next question before looking at theresponse for this one.

> >> > Question 2:

> >> > It is time to elect a new world leader, and onlyyour vote counts.

> > Here are the facts about the three candidates:

> >> >> > Candidate A

> > Associates with crooked politicians, and consultswith astrologists.

> >He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes anddrinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

> >> > Candidat e B

> > He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps untilnoon, used opium in college and drinks a quart ofwhiskey every evening.

> >> > Candidate C

> > He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and nevercheated on his wife.

> >> > Which of these candidates would be your choice?

> >> > Decide first . . . NO PEEKING . . .

> > then scroll down for the response.

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

> >> > Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

> >> > Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

> >> >> > And, by the way, on your answer to the abortionquestion:

> >> > If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven . . . .

> >> > Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person thinkbefore judging someone.

for a start...

Watch the rain

" E N J O Y "...

I just think this is very nice.... Stop at the picture for a second, and watch the Rain... then read on...

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.

Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen, spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. "Dad, I'm thinking of something."

This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. "The rain! ;" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."

After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. "That's really good, Aspen." Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation?

So I asked... "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"

Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."

I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.

Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.